how we survived: 爺爺’s pantoum (ii) by River 瑩瑩 Dandelion
- Nov 30, 2021
- 2 min read
Updated: Dec 30, 2024
we wore watermelon husks to hide lost cargo floating east to hong kong water lilies & crickets our last witness
we departed the cattailed creek one final time.
lost cargo floating east to hong kong
new hing dai treaded water, compasses toward freedom we departed the cattailed creek one final time
white sharks awaited our legs in the depths.
new hing dai treaded water, compasses toward freedom they said we had an 80% chance of making it
white sharks awaited our legs in the depths
𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡ℎ + 𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡ℎ × 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 =
𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑡ℎ
an 80% chance of making it
letters sent back announced survival.
𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡ℎ + 𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡ℎ × 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔
𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑡ℎ
banked on generations of dreaming
letters sent back announced survival.
we were promised work in the restaurants banked on generations of dreaming
fishermen took pity & reeled us on gasoline tanks.
we were promised work in the restaurants i clawed brown earth before collapsing.
fishermen took pity & reeled us on gasoline tanks five bowls of rice in hong kong, my sweetest meal.
i clawed brown earth before collapsing villagers found us gasping, fish out of water
five bowls of rice in hong kong, my sweetest meal. memories escape me now.
villagers found us gasping, fish out of water. my thoughts enter one ear & leave the other. memories escape me now.
you being here helps me remember.
my thoughts enter one ear & leave the other. water lilies & crickets, our last witness.
you being here helps me remember we wore watermelon husks to hide.
—
爺爺 — yeh yeh, Cantonese for paternal grandfather
hing dai — Cantonese for brother or close friend
RIVER 瑩瑩 DANDELION is a visionary poet, herbalist, & educator born and raised on Lenape Land (Brooklyn, NY). River's body of work explores what is lost and birthed in diaspora, and how we heal from societal wounds. River has received fellowships from Asian American Writers’ Workshop, Kundiman, VONA/ Voices, and DreamYard. His poem “how we survived: 爺爺’s pantoum (i)" was selected by Kaveh Akbar to be published in Best New Poets 2021. River is currently working on a poetry manuscript that explores matriarchal legacies, self-remembrance, and unwritten queer and trans lineages. He loves to swim and does this work for queer and trans ancestors and descendants to come. You can connect with River on IG: @rememberingourlight and at riverdandelion.com. Formerly known as huiying b. chan.
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This poem captures the heartbreaking beauty of the immigrant experience with such vivid imagery—the watermelon husks, the sharks, and the desperate hope toward freedom are unforgettable. River Dandelion's words remind us that behind every statistic is a life fought for and survived, evoking a deep sense of empathy and reflection. The emotional weight of the narrative inspired me to pause and process the colors of this journey, even leading me to check a gradient generator to visualize the spectrum of hope and hardship woven throughout the verses. Thank you for sharing such a powerful tribute to resilience and lineage.
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