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i don’t know if i could love him he’s been a good fuck

a perfect gardener of stars a tiller of dust i think he knows darkness & don’t mind me opening to him an apocalypse of light i keep coming back he knows his way around velvet & softness an inheritance i’ve tempered as silence an impressement

of how i always want to say hold me kiss me​ but settle for

falling glitter in my eyes i’m small for him two parts conquerable

one part dangerous that ethereal thing he wants to tell somebody he discovered knowing a new myth won’t keep him

alive i need a long hard fuck tonight​ & if this can’t be something between us promise me you want treat your heart like a brigade of bees how you want me to be a poem a language you only understand after you’ve cum

after you’ve learned

decay is the same as me thinking goddamn & yes i just may be all for you


J'SUN HOWARD is a dancemaker and poet living in Chicago, IL. He is one of the inaugural Co-MISSION Fellows at Links Hall and a 2017 3Arts Make a Wave grantee. His poems are forthcoming in GIANTHOLGOY and have appeared in Propter Nos, The Body Manifold, Bird's Thumb, 3rd Language, Calamus Journal, Inkwell, and Garland Court Review.


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